Nice is not the same as kind, though we conflate these terms. I hear people described as being “nice” far more than “kind,” and I suspect that’s because cultural niceness is not a high bar to clear. If someone is generally unoffensive, refrains from kicking puppies, and smiles here and there, they are nice.

But this is not kindness. Think about it: Scripture tells us that God is kind, but can you imagine describing God as nice?

The Christians in Rome had trouble understanding God’s kindness, so Paul wrote with some difficult words on the subject.

Kind Is Not Permissive

At the beginning of Romans 2, Paul confronts those who judge others and practice the same things themselves.

Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance? (Romans 2:3–4)

These Romans knew God was kind, but they assumed that meant God would overlook their sin. God is patient, but if knowing this leads to hypocrisy under the cover of God’s grace, things have gone off the rails.

God is not only kind but rich in kindness, forbearance, and patience (verse 4). And this kindness is meant to lead us to repentance.

Kindness and Repentance

In our permissive, mind-your-own-business culture, the connection between kindness and repentance is confusing. The thought goes that anyone who is kind or nice would let us do what we want instead of encouraging us to change.

But God knows better. It is good and kind of God to turn us away from sin and back to himself. We may think of the law as dampening our fun, so it seems like only a killjoy would turn us away from what we want to do.

But if what we want is bad for our souls, if it make us less human and less like what we were meant to be, then letting us carry on in sin is not kind at all. In fact it is uncaring, unloving, mean, and even hateful.

If we’re thinking properly, we should embrace and welcome this kindness of God to turn us around. We should pray for God in his kindness to open our eyes to our sin and to gently and firmly lead us to repentance.

Becoming More Kind

Note that God’s kindness is meant to lead us to repentance and that kindness is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). One implication is that if our kindness is like God’s, we will also point others to repentance.

There are loving and unloving ways to do this, of course. But my guess is that Christians reading this have probably experienced a loving rebuke from a friend. It hurts, yes, but the pain is like that of fixing a dislocated finger. Popping the finger back into joint can be excruciating, but it leads to health. We can now function the way we are supposed to. When we repent, in that area of our lives we’re no longer working against the Holy Spirit within us.

I’m not encouraging anyone to become a sin hunter. But there will be times where our kindness to our friends will lead us to confront in love, helping them to turn back to the God who loves them.

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