
I don’t remember ever crying much at church. I’m not a buttoned-up person; I don’t mind others seeing my emotions bubble over. It’s just that nothing that happened at church ever brought out the tears in me.
Until my mom died. The crying didn’t happen immediately—she died in October and it wasn’t until early the next year that I started choking up in church. For roughly six months, most every time we would stand to sing, I’d feel my throat start to close and my sinus cavities start to quake. Depending on the song, sometimes I wouldn’t make it to the end of the first verse before I had to give up. I’d stand in silence as the tears slowly ran down my cheeks.
There was something about singing that tapped a deep well of my emotion. And the strange thing was that the songs and hymns we were singing didn’t always bring my mom to mind. My mother’s death had brought grief close to the surface, but singing somehow tapped the chisel and freed the geyser.
Singing for My Good
Singing is, mysteriously, quite different than speaking. Years ago, after my father-in-law suffered a stroke, he was unable to speak but virtually unencumbered when he tried to sing. It seems there are different neural pathways involved in these two types of communication.
When we sing in church we confront deep truths. We proclaim these truths. And as our brains process the words and pass along the relevant commands to our mouths and vocal cords, we’re forced to reckon with each claim. Do I really believe this?
In the moment, it’s a chance to remind myself—yes, this is true! Yes, I can trust God with this! So with each hymn and chorus, I have the chance to preach to myself.
Of course, many people around the world sing without engaging this way. The words are just words, and they will sing (or lip sync) while thinking about an upcoming football game or a recipe for tacos.
But singing is an opportunity for discipleship. We rehearse and remember the truths that we’re singing, but we can check our heart response at the same time. Do I love this truth? Do I act like it is true?
In those six tearful months, I most often cried when singing about the future. My mom’s death coincided with a lot of my own thinking about hope. The promises of life beyond death and of face-to-face communion with the Lord became increasing precious to me, and our worship hymns became an opportunity to remember my mom and thank the Lord.
Singing for the Good of My Brother
In this recent season of sadness, it was a great comfort to hear others sing around me when I couldn’t do it myself. The truths which I could not voice were sung to me and for me by my brothers and sisters.
Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:17–21)
Paul tells the Ephesian Christians that they should address one another in their singing as they make melody in their hearts to the Lord. This is part of being “filled with the Spirit.”
During congregational singing, we have the privilege of reinforcing truths to each other. When there is doubt, this great chorus can persuade us to once again trust in Christ. This must be one of the ways the Spirit works, to convince us of what is true and good and beautiful through the voices of others in whom he is also working.
Singing in Good Times and Bad Times
We understand how the psalmist sings in good times. “I will be glad and exult in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High” (Psalm 9:2). But it might be that we and our friends need our singing even more in the hard times.
Psalm 13 is one of many psalms of lament. It begins with the cry, “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” But after reminding himself about the steadfast love and salvation of the Lord, David thinks again of singing: “I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me” (Psalm 13:6).
Singing is a fundamental part of our Christian worship and discipleship because it connects our minds and our hearts. We sing to glorify God and to exhort and encourage each other.
If you’re wondering whether to make the effort to sing this Sunday, consider this. Singing to God might be just what your soul needs. And the person sitting in front of you at church? It might just be what they need as well.


