Tag: Parenting

Links for the Weekend (2024-04-12)

Posted onAuthorRyan Higginbottom

Each Friday, I’ll post links to 3–5 resources from around the web you may want to check out.

Prioritizing Our Marriages During the Child-Raising Years

Far too often a couple’s lives revolve around their children and their marriage suffers. This article offers some good counsel.

She was a year away from all the kids being out of the house. While some look forward to this stage of life, my friend was dreading it. She and her husband had grown apart after years of focusing solely on their children. Their marriage was sustained by the distractions of football and soccer games, teen gatherings in their home, and shuffling kids to and fro. Now, the looming prospect of a quieter house with no distractions between them was unwelcome.

Try to Be More Awkward

In order to show love to others at corporate worship, Brianna Lambert wants us to embrace our awkwardness. Find out what she means!

The small greetings I hear from the men and women beside me in church remind me I’m loved. They tell me of the beauty of the fellowship of the body of Christ. They pull me out of my singular focus and remind me I’m part of something bigger—bigger even than the group of families in my small group or who share my similar life circumstances. They lift my eyes to the beauty of the diverse group of church members God has placed around me—people I want to get to know better and learn from. I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to revel in this had the people beside me stayed silent. 

What does it mean that God rested?

CCEF counselor Darby Strickland shares a video meditation on what it means that God rested. She suggests some implications this has for us as well.

Thanks to Phil A for his help in rounding up links this week.

Note: Washington Presbyterian Church and the editors of this blog do not necessarily endorse all content produced by the individuals or groups referenced here. 

Links for the Weekend (2024-03-01)

Posted onAuthorRyan Higginbottom

Each Friday, I’ll post links to 3–5 resources from around the web you may want to check out.

The Bond of Love

This article is especially appropriate for our church as we will celebrate the Lord’s Supper this coming Sunday. Keith Mathison explains the importance of the unity evident when a church takes communion.

Following Augustine, Calvin spoke of this “horizontal” aspect of the Lord’s Supper as “the bond of love.” The Supper is something that is to unite believers and encourage them to love one another. Paul tells us that Christ has only one body of which He makes us all partakers; therefore, we are all one body (1 Cor. 10:17). According to Calvin, the bread in the Supper provides an illustration of the unity we are to have. We are to be joined together, without division, just as the many grains in the bread are joined together to form a single loaf.

Talking with Kids about Gender Issues: Give Them Biblical Vocabulary

I appreciate this effort to equip parents to talk to their children about important issues of gender and sexuality.

Mom and Dad, your key priority is to love, know, and trust God and to understand how the gospel applies to our experience of gender. Christ came offering forgiveness for our sin, including rejecting His design of us as male and female. He came to draw near and heal broken hearts when gender dysphoria triggers shame, and kids feel, and are, outcast and alone. And He is near to you as you engage this vital discipleship pathway with your kids. You may be fearful and overwhelmed with this task, yet remember Jesus’ words to you, “Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it” (John 14:13-14).

The Idol of Competence

I suspect more of us worship an idol of competence than we realize.

The idol of competence is the desire to be perceived by others as capable. It springs from the belief that my worth is tied to my output. It’s productivity fueled by shame and fear. But if we want to do our work in a God-honoring manner, have joy while we do it, and truly serve God and man, we must disentangle our conception of productivity from the idol of competence.

Note: Washington Presbyterian Church and the editors of this blog do not necessarily endorse all content produced by the individuals or groups referenced here. 

Links for the Weekend (2024-02-09)

Posted onAuthorRyan Higginbottom

Each Friday, I’ll post links to 3–5 resources from around the web you may want to check out.

The Parenting Book Too Few Parents Read

Tim Challies encourages us to learn from the ways our fellow church members parent their children.

And yet I believe that many parents fail to read the parenting book that could make the biggest difference to their lives and families. Many neglect to give their attention to the parenting book that God has set right before them. It’s the “book” that is being written in the lives of the people in their own local church.

Why We Pulled Our Kids from Club Sports

This article is an interview with the athletic director at Dordt University about kids’ involvement in club sports. He highlights the good things about sports for children, and he offers some cautions as well.

Navigating that fine line between loving sports and idolizing sports is really hard, and that’s why we need Christian coaches and leaders to help educate families on moderation—on what is enough for their family. Certainly, we are getting no help from the culture on de-idolizing athletics, so we need to be intentional. We hear loud noises from the greater sports culture saying, “Indulge, indulge, indulge.”

Selfless Self-Control in a Selfish Society

When we think of self-control, we often think primarily of ourselves. This article explains why self-control is commanded of God’s people—to benefit others.

Godly self-control, such as we find described in Titus, is the opposite. It is about us restraining ourselves not just for our own sake but for the sake of other people. Self-control admits that, left to our own devices, we would not tend towards the interests of others but towards our own interests—and seeks to do better.

On the WPCA Blog This Week

This week on the blog we published an article I wrote called God’s Promises Are So Much Better Than We Think. If you haven’t already seen it, check it out!

Note: Washington Presbyterian Church and the editors of this blog do not necessarily endorse all content produced by the individuals or groups referenced here. 

Links for the Weekend (2024-01-19)

Posted onAuthorRyan Higginbottom

Each Friday, I’ll post links to 3–5 resources from around the web you may want to check out.

The Irreplaceable Encouragement of Intergenerational Relationships

Wow, that title is a mouthful! This article offers the experience of a woman who has been blessed by intergenerational friendships. It’s an encouragement for us to find and build those same kinds of relationships

They have faced some of the very things I fear most in life, and yet show me what it looks like to keep trusting Christ. And they do not try to pretend to do it perfectly. More than their wisdom or experience, it is their testimony of God’s faithfulness that means the most to me. I can’t get enough of it. I am still young and keenly aware of how much life is still ahead. I can choose anxiety and fear and yearn for control, or I can remember that the Jesus who has sustained these brothers and sisters is the same Jesus I trust.

Parenting Will Kill You Too (And That’s Good)

I enjoyed this article about what parenting calls us to put to death in ourselves.

And so I die daily. I repent quickly and listen slowly. I surrender seeds of self-preservation and self-promotion, letting them fall to the ground and die. And as I wait for their resurrection—a harvest of righteousness in my life and my kids—in faith I laugh. Like a burbling stream, laughter flows from childish antics and childlike jokes; laughter bubbles up at idiolects and innocent delight. Though impediments come, as I contemplate these priceless treasures I’ve been gifted, the astonished laugh of Sarah of old wells up. All really is grace. 

Stop Looking For Friends, And Start Making Them

Here’s another article about friendship. It is written with the conviction that deep friendships are often formed instead of merely found.

We all want the treasure of friendship. Of course we do. It’s treasure! We just don’t all want the process that makes the treasure look like treasure. We want to discover a hoard somewhere that someone else worked and fought for, that someone else mined and minted, and we want it all for ourselves to spend and enjoy as we see fit. Maybe that’s why we’re so lonely. We’ve charted the wrong course by hunting around forever for chests full of ready-made friendship, perfectly formed and perfectly suited to our needs and desires. The reason there’s no map for that kind of friendship is because that’s not how friendship works.

Note: Washington Presbyterian Church and the editors of this blog do not necessarily endorse all content produced by the individuals or groups referenced here. 

Links for the Weekend (2023-06-23)

Posted onAuthorRyan Higginbottom

Each Friday, I’ll post links to 3–5 resources from around the web you may want to check out.

How I Grew to Love the PCA

The PCA’s blog recently featured an article by Jamye Doerfler, a member at Redemption Hill Church in our presbytery. (Her husband, Peter, is the pastor.) Her article tells the story of growing up outside the PCA and finding her way in.

You may be wondering how a nice Reformed guy could end up with a girl like me in the first place. Peter and I met at Grove City College in Pennsylvania, which was once associated with the PCUSA but now has students of every Christian stripe. When we started dating in senior year, we had no intention of marrying. After all, he wanted to be a pastor, and I wasn’t interested in being a pastor’s wife (but that’s a story for another time). Our doctrinal differences weren’t as important as the fact that we were both committed Christians. We were out of college and living in different states when we decided to marry, so it wasn’t until then that the rubber hit the road.

2 Things the Church Must Do to Help Our Post-Christian Neighbors Trust Jesus

What does it look like to be a good neighbor who desires salvation for those nearby? This article points a good way forward.

This is what it’ll take to help our neighbors trust Jesus for salvation: faithful relational engagement over years. I long for the church in America to resource and equip Christians for that sort of long-haul witness. We need discipleship, spiritual formation, and life-on-life engagement more than we need evangelistic events or outreach meetings and strategies.

The Assignment I Wasn’t Expecting

As a college student, Andrea was ready to go to the farthest corners of the planet for Jesus. She has had to get used to the calling God has given her in her own family.

But somehow I didn’t expect it all to come down to this. With the ministry over and the children gone, to have my existence circled around the care of this man-child, “the least of these”, as Jesus described him. When I said I would go anywhere, I was imagining an exotic faraway land, not a remote town in northern Minnesota. When I said I would do anything, I imagined kingdom impact, not caring for a 30-year-old man who still refuses to change his socks.

Thanks to Maggie A for her help in rounding up links this week!

Note: Washington Presbyterian Church and the editors of this blog do not necessarily endorse all content produced by the individuals or groups referenced here. 

Links for the Weekend (2023-04-28)

Posted onAuthorRyan Higginbottom

Each Friday, I’ll post links to 3–5 resources from around the web you may want to check out. (Just two links today; it’s been a busy week!)

Truths and Tips for Discipling Teens

I enjoyed this reflection by Jen Oshman on how she and her husband are raising several teenagers at once.

I don’t know the ins and outs of your relationship with your teen. I do know you want the best for your child and you’d do anything for him. Parenting teens is hard. Trusting the Lord is hard. But take heart. God knows our teens deeply and treasures them immeasurably. He desires that all our teens would come to him.

Two Sonnets for the Road to Emmaus

These two poems by Malcolm Guite reflecting on the resurrected Jesus’s encounter with disciples on the road to Emmaus are worth your while.

Note: Washington Presbyterian Church and the editors of this blog do not necessarily endorse all content produced by the individuals or groups referenced here. 

Children: A Blessed Interruption

Posted onAuthorRyan Higginbottom

I started a recent Saturday morning with a sigh. It was time for one of my least favorite tasks: grading.

Grading for a professor is like sweeping the floor for a barber. It’s necessary, tedious, and often a hairy mess.

I was hoping to finish in an hour. I sat down with a red pen and braced myself. Then, the barrage began.

Daddy, can you watch me dance?
Daddy, can you make me breakfast?
Daddy, will you help me with this puzzle?
Daddy, my sister is bothering me!

Abundant tears. Disappointment galore. (My children had a rough time, too.)

One hour stretched into two. As with so much of parenting, this was not what I planned.

Children Are Interrupters

Interruptions and parenting go hand in hand. Every parent-to-be hears this, but it’s hard to grasp the new reality until it arrives.

For mothers, disruptions begin early as the child takes over her body during pregnancy. Unplanned clothing, cravings, emotions, pains, and trips to the bathroom mark those nine months.

During their first years of life, children survive through interruptions. They broadcast their needs at all hours and volumes.

While those early-year disturbances don’t disappear, they gradually change. Feedings, diaper changes, and 3am lullabyes give way to snack requests, scraped knees, and 3am counseling.

This isn’t unusual; this is parenting.

God is an Interrupter

I often brush aside these intrusions as meaningless accidents. Surely (I say to myself) the important parts of life lie elsewhere: adult conversations, work, community service, prayer, reading, church.

But God is an interrupter. Just ask Noah, Abraham, Moses, David, Paul, or anyone that encountered Jesus.

Because he is sovereign, none of our interruptions come by chance. Some people use the term “divine appointment,” but that’s too tame. God disrupts our lives more like a rock through the window than a polite meeting request.

Learning Through Interruptions

God’s interruptions are more than a detour. His diversions don’t just lead to the correct path, they are the path. God teaches through disruption.

Consider Moses. God used Moses’ curiosity about the burning bush (Exodus 3:3) to reveal his name (Exodus 3:6,14–15), give Moses his mission (Exodus 3:10), and pledge his presence (Exodus 3:12). God didn’t just end Moses’ shepherding career, he gave Moses spiritual supplies for his new, enormous task.

We must embrace not only the result of God’s interventions but the interventions themselves. We need to see the opportunity, not the annoyance.

Which brings me back to my children.

Learning With My Children

I need these parenting interruptions. I need to be shaken from self-centeredness and reminded of how important my children are. I have only a finite number of dances to watch, breakfasts to prepare, and puzzles to build.

Yes, life with children is hard. But it is good, too.

God teaches me though my children’s requests, their needs, their disagreements, and even their disobedience. He shines a light on my heart, my requests, and my disobedience. He graciously shapes my character as I learn how to respond and how to love.

I’m grateful for God’s instructions. The question is: Will I listen?

Post credit | Photo credit

Links for the Weekend (2023-03-24)

Posted onAuthorRyan Higginbottom

Each Friday, I’ll post links to 3–5 resources from around the web you may want to check out.

If God Would Outsource His Sovereignty

Tim Challies imagines a scene in which we get to pick our life circumstances. Though we might shy away from difficult providences of God, this article reminds us how God uses them all.

And as we receive these from his hand we can rest assured that in the life of the Christian there are not two classes of providence, one good and one bad. No, though some may be easy and some hard, all are good because all in some way flow from his good, Fatherly hand and all in some way can be consecrated to his service. For we are not our own, but belong to him in body and in soul, in life and in death, in joy and in sorrow, in the circumstances we would have chosen anyway and the ones we would have avoided at all costs.

Helping Children with Anxiety

This article discusses how parents can help their children deal with anxiety. It also includes some resource recommendations at the end.

While children deal with their own fears and worries, they’re also watching you, taking cues on how they should respond. As parents, we tend to think it’s best to shield our children from our anxiety, and there are times when that’s appropriate. But shielding them and denying the presence of anxiety teaches them to do the same. That’s unhealthy, and it’s unbiblical. The psalmists didn’t bottle things up; they poured everything out. That doesn’t mean you should pour out your soul before your kids each day. But it does mean they should see it’s okay that you deal with fear and anxiety, too, and you do something about it: you turn to your heavenly Father in prayer. You read his word. You walk by faith. You believe. Showing them what to do with anxiety is much healthier than modeling denial.

One Man’s Walk in the Snow Creates a Giant Masterpiece

This last link is not specifically Christian, but this video displays God’s glory and man’s creativity in nature. This short film is only 6 minutes long.

    On the WPCA Blog This Week

    This week on the blog we published an article I wrote called Lord, Teach Me to Hunger. If you haven’t already seen it, check it out!

    Note: Washington Presbyterian Church and the editors of this blog do not necessarily endorse all content produced by the individuals or groups referenced here. 

    Links for the Weekend (2023-03-10)

    Posted onAuthorRyan Higginbottom

    Each Friday, I’ll post links to 3–5 resources from around the web you may want to check out.

    7 Things to Say to a Hurting Loved One

    When a suffering friend opens up to us, sometimes we don’t know what to say. This article offers some places to begin.

    Arguably no moment is more formative than immediately after a loved one shares her pain with you. Relationships are defined by what happens in these sacred seconds. Your words can bring healing or harm, communicate love or judgment, build or destroy trust.

    A “Good Faith” Debate: Should Christian Parents Send Their Children to Public Schools?

    The Gospel Coalition arranged a conversation between Jen Wilkin and Jonathan Pennington about the topic of public schooling. You can watch a video at the link here, and there is also a transcript available for reading. This issue can often be heated and contentious, but this conversation was insightful and full of respect.

    Special thanks to Maggie A who sent along this link and the links in the following block. Maggie mentions that these resources on the topic of schooling might be especially helpful at this time of year when many families are thinking through schooling choices for the fall.

    A Podcast Series on School Choice

    In 2018, Risen Motherhood ran a four-part series on their podcast about different schooling options that Christian parents might choose.

    On the WPCA Blog This Week

    This week on the blog we published an article I wrote called Jesus, the Moka Pot, and Me. If you haven’t already seen it, check it out!

    Note: Washington Presbyterian Church and the editors of this blog do not necessarily endorse all content produced by the individuals or groups referenced here. 

    Links for the Weekend (2023-01-27)

    Posted onAuthorRyan Higginbottom

    Each Friday, I’ll post links to 3–5 resources from around the web you may want to check out.

    Leave the Throne of Guilt

    Scotty Smith shares his experience of learning how to pray not because he felt guilty, but because he delighted in the triune God. Union with Christ was the key to unlock his prayer life.

    As a young believer in the late sixties, the joy of my new life in Christ was palpable and plenteous. But pretty soon, I started to feel the pressure of a new burden to “get it right.” I had consistent quiet times, underlined verses in my Bible (in three different colors), and engaged in Scripture memory. I fellowshipped, witnessed, and prayed. Unfortunately, these crucial spiritual disciplines functioned more as a means of guilt (or pride) than as a means of grace. Many of God’s good gifts are misused and disused until they become rightly used. This is certainly true of prayer.

    Expose Your Kids to Hard Truths

    Here’s an essay urging us not to shy away from some of the “grittier” parts of Scripture with our children.

    Continually discussing the beauty and hard realities of Scripture will help children love truth and the God who embodies it. And it’ll give them a discerning ear when engaging culture apart from the watchful eye of their parents. We have the opportunity to demonstrate that the Christian faith is rational, understandable, and more beautiful than the culture that will fight hard to persuade our children otherwise.

    How to Think about God Promoting His Own Glory

    If we evaluate God’s purposes and actions through the grid of what would be righteous for a human, we’re bound to go wrong. This article calls us to remember how different from us God is when we think about his focus on his glory.

    So now we come to the issue of God promoting his own glory. The same principle applies to God doing things “for the sake of his name” and “for his glory” and requiring people to worship him. If you are troubled by the thought of this, consider the possibility that you are imagining how you would respond to a human being who did this—a fallen, sinful human being who did not deserve your worship. That is not who God is. And so, in order to understand God rightly, we need to adjust our interpretation of his actions in light of his moral perfection, not judge him as if he were also a fallen human being with a dangerously inflated ego.

    On the WPCA Blog This Week

    This week on the blog we published an article I wrote called A Primer on Encouragement. If you haven’t already seen it, check it out!

    Note: Washington Presbyterian Church and the editors of this blog do not necessarily endorse all content produced by the individuals or groups referenced here.