Learning to Embrace Tension

Not every story has a satisfying ending. Some clouds lack a silver lining.

Humans have a strong desire for resolution, not just in our own lives, but also for our friends and neighbors. We’re uncomfortable with the in-between, with sadness, with suffering.

Here is one more lesson that lament can offer. Lament teaches us to live with the tensions of life in a fallen world.

Lamentations 5

The end of the last chapter of Lamentations is a snapshot of the entire book.

But you, O Lord, reign forever;
your throne endures to all generations.
Why do you forget us forever,
why do you forsake us for so many days?
Restore us to yourself, O Lord, that we may be restored!
Renew our days as of old—
unless you have utterly rejected us,
and you remain exceedingly angry with us. (Lamentations 5:19–22)

I learned recently that, when copying this text, several Hebrew scribes repeated verse 21 after verse 22, presumably because they thought the book should not end on such a down note. I understand that impulse.

But I’ve grown to see that the end of Lamentations is just about the perfect ending for this book. Like lament itself, there is no resolution. There is a question—a gut-wrenching, foreboding question—hanging in the air over that last verse. Yet this very tension keeps us seeking the Lord.

Trusting, trusting

While we know how our ultimate story ends, we don’t know all the details along the way. Not every episode or chapter will be joyous or fulfilling.

Learning to live with the tension of suffering, stubborn sin, difficult relationships, and tragedies helps us to continue trusting the Lord. We need him, we cry out to him, we mourn in his presence when we feel nothing more than a puddle of pain and confusion.

If life was smooth and predictable, it would be much easier to trust in peace, stability, or even the momentum of a string of good days. It would be harder to see our need to trust the Lord.

Similarly, our prayers do not need to be wrapped up with a shiny bow. We don’t need to come to the Lord with a lesson learned or with carefully-chosen, sanctified words. It’s okay to tell God your troubles, to sit with him and ask him why (see Lam 5:20).

Back to God

Tension in our lives and in our prayers is a generous gift of God. Like the end of Lamentations, it keeps us turning back to him, relying on him. Where else could we possibly go?

A tidy plot might be the script we’d write for ourselves, but the tension God gives is closer to what we need.

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The Perfect Antidote

I am an optimistic person. I go through life assuming that things will generally work out. Yet somehow, I remain a worrier. In my mind, I run through all the imaginable scenarios. I experiment with what my emotions would be in all of the varied possibilities. I explore likely outcomes, and ideally, I see that most of them have solutions. Not a bad thing, right? 

Occasionally, however, I will latch on to one scenario, and it will play in my mind on repeat. Perhaps you have also had the feeling of trying to fall asleep while the dreadful what-ifs dance across your mind as if projected on a movie screen. Worry is rumination on unknown future events, and I easily get stuck in the cycle. 

Let Go and Let God?

Throughout my life, well-meaning friends and family members have reminded me that worry is sin. The Bible exhorts us multiple times to avoid worry or anxious thoughts. Proverbs 12:25 reads, “Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.” I need to recognize and respect God’s control over my situation, not rely on my own abilities. People in my life encouraged me to “let go and let God.” While this pithy phrase seems wise and is thrown around often, it left me confused and dissatisfied. First, I cannot give God permission to do anything, and implying that I can “let” him do something is, at best, irreverent. Secondly, the idea of letting go of something as ephemeral as worry is far from concrete. What does that look like? 

When I tried to enact this common advice, my version of letting go and letting God do his work looked like stuffing emotions down deep and ignoring them as best as I could. I swallowed hard and muscled through, trying to push aside the urge to examine and problem-solve. You may recall Scarlett O’Hara’s line in Gone with the Wind when she says, “I can’t think about that right now. I’ll go crazy if I do. I’ll think about it tomorrow.” When I tried to “let go and let God,” I was good at pulling a Scarlett O’Hara. I could set aside a problem and refuse to look at it again. But is that the same as relying upon God?

Some struggles do seem to disappear when we focus our attention elsewhere. That parenting issue that appeared to be crucial to a healthy future gradually fizzled out. The second opinion from a new doctor brought a more positive diagnosis than we anticipated, or the car repair did not cost as much as we feared. Time can be a powerful tool. However, burying concerns or always trying to wait them out are not the same as relying on God. 

Praying for Wisdom

I have puzzled over the idea of submitting my concerns to God for years, and I have recently come to one conclusion. The most concrete action I can take to surrender my anxious thoughts to God is to pray for wisdom. When I find myself in a state of worry, I tend to pray only for deliverance. I want the bad news to be erased. I want the illness to be healed or the conflict to be resolved. I want the anticipated struggle to be eliminated fully and quickly. God invites us to ask for specific things when we come to him in prayer, but when we pray with a list of solutions, we are still trying to do the problem-solving for God. We bring the answers that seem most appropriate to us. As I contemplate how to really surrender to the Lord, I am beginning to understand that when we pray for God’s wisdom, we are aligning ourselves with our heavenly Father. Praying for his wisdom is full surrender to his will. 

James 1:5 reads, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” When anxiety and fear take over, we are essentially falling victim to a lack of wisdom. We simply do not know the future, and we do not know God’s intentions in our present circumstances. When we pray for wisdom, we please God because he is delighted when we come to him and surrender to his ways. We fall in alignment with his work and will. 

God Can Be Trusted

The idea of walking in line with our creator and resting in his wisdom sounds lovely, but how can we feel at ease while relinquishing control? I can attest that lack of control is a primary component of the worry cycle. How, then, can surrender be a step toward peace? The answer lies in the nature of God himself. If he is trustworthy and his ways are good, we can surrender without fear (Psalm 100:5). If we believe he loves us and is working for our well-being, we can unclench our fists and take hold of his promises (Romans 8:28). As modern day Christians, we have the privilege of looking back upon God’s ancient promises—as early as the garden of Eden—and seeing their progression toward the death of Christ on the cross. We can recognize God’s work there on Calvary and see the fulfillment of his covenant in the tomb where only a piece of cloth remained. We see stunning evidence of God’s reliability and truthfulness when the depths of his love were on display that morning.

In Proverbs 2:6, we read, “For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.” As human beings, we will not gain full insight that belongs only to God. However, the Lord lovingly answers our prayers for wisdom by granting the perfect dose he desires for us. His wisdom is the antidote to worries that threaten our peace and erode the faith upon which we rely. We are safe to cling to him.

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Links for the Weekend (2/18/2022)

Each Friday, I’ll post links to 3–5 resources from around the web you may want to check out.

The Paradox of Parenting and How To Trust God More

Many parents struggle with giving up (perceived) control of their children and “releasing” them into the world. Cara Ray wrote about how a scare in her daughter’s life reminder her about depending on God.

Children may try to assert their control, but they are completely dependent on their parents for survival. And that’s how we are to be as God’s children. We may be adults, but spiritually, we have to become like children. Greatness isn’t found in our perceived self-sufficiency but in our utter and complete dependence on the Father. 

Wordle and Our Longing for the Limited

I’m guessing you may have heard of the word game Wordle. It’s a lot of fun! Chris Martin has some thoughts about what the popularity of this game might say about cultural appetites at the moment.

The vast majority of our interaction with the internet is defined by constant, on-demand consumption. We can binge years of television in weeks. We can scroll Facebook or TikTok for hours and never run out of new bits of entertainment. There is no limit to the number of tweets or emails we can send (unfortunately). Limitless consumption has long been the allure of the internet, but when you can gorge yourself on memes and tv shows, it all can start to taste the same.

How Great (Psalm 145)

Here’s a video of a new song by Sovereign Grace Music, a setting of Psalm 145 to music.


Note: Washington Presbyterian Church and the editors of this blog do not necessarily endorse all content produced by the individuals or groups referenced here. 

Links for the Weekend (1/28/2022)

Each Friday, I’ll post links to 3–5 resources from around the web you may want to check out.

3 Things God Will Never Do with Your Sin

This post from the Crossway blog highlights some differences between the ways God handles our sin and the ways we handle our sin (or the sin of others).

The point of the psalmist is that this is precisely what God will never do. In responding to us this way, God is not ignoring our faults and failures. He is not winking at sin or pretending that it never happened. And it certainly isn’t because he is more loving than just. As we’ll see shortly, his guarantee that he will never “deal” with us according to our sins is rooted in something so profound and glorious that we often find it more than a little difficult to believe.

What Does It Mean To Trust God in Our Trials?

Sometimes faith comes easily, and sometimes it takes a significant force of our will. Tim Challies explains that trusting God might look different on different days and in different seasons of our lives.

Trusting God, we learn, is not just a matter of recalling knowledge in a moment of need, but applying the whole heart, soul, strength, and mind to accept and believe it—even when the heart is broken and the soul weary, even when strength is sapped and the mind bewildered. Faith is complicated, not simple, and difficult, not easy. Like so much else in life, faith takes practice and rewards diligence. Faith brings us far beyond the end of ourselves and leaves us utterly dependent upon the goodness and mercy of a loving God.

Should or Can in 2022?

Wow, what a terrible headline for an otherwise great article. Ray Ortlund wrote this near the end of 2021, and while it is addressed to pastors, it has wide relevance to all who love the church and want the kingdom of Jesus to advance. The title of the post refers to the difference between exhortations (“you should…”) and assurances of what God offers to needy people (“we can…”). This is an insightful look at what the grace of the gospel can accomplish.

If, by the end of 2022, nothing at your church improves, you can always go back. But for just one year, rather than tell people to obey God’s holy law, why not help them obey God’s holy law and live for Christ and walk in the Spirit, as you trust in the power of God’s all-sufficient grace?

On the WPCA Blog This Week

This week on the blog we published an article I wrote called The Nearness of God is Not Always Good News. If you haven’t already seen it, check it out!


Note: Washington Presbyterian Church and the editors of this blog do not necessarily endorse all content produced by the individuals or groups referenced here. 

Links for the Weekend (10/16/2020)

Each Friday, I’ll post links to 3–5 resources from around the web you may want to check out.

For the Heart that is Overwhelmed

With all that is going on in our country, are you feeling overwhelmed? Christina Fox has a good reminder for you.

The truth is God doesn’t call us to depend upon ourselves; he calls us to trust in him to provide what we need to live for him. He gives us just what we need for each day and promises to be there on the next to provide for us again. And he is not stingy with his grace, for as John wrote “he gives us grace upon grace” (John 1:16). God doesn’t tell us what tomorrow brings; rather, he calls us to follow after him, trusting he will lead and guide us.

The Absurdity of Pride

We may acknowledge that pride is at the root of many of our sins, but have we seen how ridiculous it is? Pride goes against every part of our created design, and yet sometimes we just cannot put it away.

As followers of Jesus, we have insight into how our pride is out of place and odd. Human beings are the crown of creation but it is because God made it so. From that high place, we take our cues from our King who gave up his rights, knowing that his place with the Father was secure. So we put on humility which, in contrast to pride, turns out to be wonderfully human—quite attractive and surprisingly powerful.

Christians, Diversity is Not a Bad Word

Like many good words, “diversity” can be twisted and used in a distorted way. But, Amy Medina cautions, let’s not get rid of something beautiful because some misuse it!

The question should be Why wouldn’t you want diversity? Living in an international community has indescribably enriched my life. Hearing the stories of those from diverse backgrounds has broadened my perspective, opened my eyes to new ways of looking at the world. These friends have given me more understanding, more compassion, more wisdom. They have challenged and stretched my faith, forcing me to cut away the chaff and focus my vision on the treasure that is Christ alone.


Note: Washington Presbyterian Church and the editors of this blog do not necessarily endorse all content produced by the individuals or groups referenced here. 

Links for the Weekend (8/7/2020)

Each Friday, I’ll post links to 3–5 resources from around the web you may want to check out.

Make Your School Decision. Then Trust God.

Glenna Marshall writes about a decision many parents are facing these days: What should we do about school for our children this fall? Some advice from a friend changed the way she was approaching the decision.

While walking through my neighborhood, I chatted on the phone with another mom who was also grappling with her decision. As I voiced my fears of getting it wrong this school year, my friend offered some sage advice. “God isn’t waiting to see if you make the wrong decision,” she told me. “He’s waiting for you to trust him with the decision you make.”

A Surprising Command for Suffering Saints

Michael Abraham reflects on James’s command to count trials as joy by directing our eyes toward Jesus.

Many of us, however, find great joy when our trials are over. James reminds us to find joy in our trials. Life is full of occasions for joy. Engagements are occasions for joy. Weddings are occasions for joy. Births are occasions for joy. You know this. But is sickness an occasion for joy? Are strained relationships occasions for joy? What about loneliness or loss? What about poverty and persecution? All trials are opportunities for joy.

Faithfulness in Forgotten Places

Scott Hubbard writes about “forgotten places”—those parts of our lives where are efforts are not noticed. He calls our attention to God’s providence and presence in the midst of these callings, as well as the reward in the future for faithfulness.

God sometimes does call us to do exceptional things for him: to adopt children, to launch ministries, to plant churches, to move overseas. But the point still holds, because none of us will do anything exceptional unless we have first learned, through ten thousand steps of faithfulness, to be exceptional in the ordinary.


Note: Washington Presbyterian Church and the editors of this blog do not necessarily endorse all content produced by the individuals or groups referenced here.